Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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