You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
