just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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