Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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