I am puke
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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