Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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