I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so that wasnt chicken after all
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
