You work out of a Hotel?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
