What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
