8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
