i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Farmville is her only friend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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