actually, I'm a sock model
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he fucked my hip out of place.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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