She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
