I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
