She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
