They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
