I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
