I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
