You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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