i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
