I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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