I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
