OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i will never coherently bang her
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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