i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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