he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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