Porn is love you can see.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
