Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
