she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
