I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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