I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
