I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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