You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
