dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
