so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
