batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize