I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
