Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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