I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
