1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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