okay pat passed out under dana's car
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
