Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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