I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are we still banned from the library?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
