I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
