Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
