How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
