there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
