you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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