she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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