no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
