my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
