i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
