I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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