If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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