i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
