I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
