everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
