is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She announced her abortion via fbk
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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