I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
