It's Friday. Sex?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize