I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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