Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
