so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
